what makes moving on difficult?

"The hardest part about moving forward is not looking back."
- Felicity

so true!!!!!!!
Looking back makes this 60 day mission so difficult!
everytime i look back...i see our wonderful memories together. all the fun times that we had. Our wonderful friendship.

but i decided that this is for the best.
this is for myself.
i need to heal.
so i am moving forward...

but then...

i did it, again...

i looked back at him...

my friend... there's something wrong... i don't feel good about something.
i know him too well.

When i checked my friendster... the homepage shows updates from your contacts. and he had some updates. Since i already had a feeling that he's not feeling well so again for the nth time i broke the 60 days no contact rule.
i viewed his friendster...
My friend is broken hearted...he had a fight with his "bb" and it seems like over.
i wanted to talk to him... but i know there's nothing i can do.
if he needed my help i know he'll come to me...but he didn't so i know he needs time to think for himself.

the next day...i checked my friendster again.
He had another updates.
his shoutout.. a line from David Archuleta's song.
"Can't let the music stop, can't let this feeling end.
because if i do, it will all be over and i'll never see you again." or something like that.

hahay......
My bestfriend is so crazy in love with a no good guy!
i hate it!

so i sent him a message telling him i knew what happened.
i know him too well.
since he doesn't want me to get in the middle of his lovelife then maybe it would be better if i just delete him from my friend list so i never have to see his updates... his updates that can be so irritating.
then i told him to just add me again if you are no longer in denial that you're crazy. hehe

maybe that was another wrong move.
does it matter?
i don't know.
i just want to move forward without ever looking back for now.